Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Continued blogging

Hi everyone!
Some may think it is weird that I am still updating this blog now and then. I had every intention of closing the blog when Bailey passed away. However, I want to share with you the reasons I have not done that.

Throughout the course of Bailey's Journey, I was referred to many many blogs created by Moms who have lost their little ones. They belong to an awesome category of women that I, regretfully, get to be a part of. We are "Angel Mommies". Although it is not a group that I would have chosen to be part of, it is a "title" that I now have that I will do everything I can to make the best of. Because of this, I want to be a strength to other people who find themselves in similar situations to those that I found myself in over the last year - the fear of what will come of your "sick" baby, coping with a roller coaster ride of ups and downs with your baby, or the death of your sweet, sweet baby. The many blogs that I have been directed to throughout our experiences have been such a strength to me. They have shown me that "life can go on" and helped me realize that I am completely normal and the feelings I have - good and bad - are feelings that everyone has when they are dealing with their grief. Not only did they provide me strength during the roller coaster ride and Bailey's eventual death but I still go to them often - when I need to remember that it is ok to be sad ... and .. it is ok to be happy.
I have had so many people contact me after they have been directed to our blog. Everyone has their own reasons. Everyone has their own challenges. And everyone has their own situation. If our blog can help just one person know that they are "normal" and that we have been through the things they are going through and we are making it, then I want it to do that! This is one of the main reasons that I will continue on with Bailey's Journey.

I also truly believe that through sharing my thoughts and feelings to help others see how we deal with things (or don't deal with them in some cases), I help myself heal, in a sense.
I need to be able to share my feelings. I need to talk about Bailey. She is my daughter. She is a part of our family. We didn't go through all we went through - the decisions, the preparation, the pain, the worry - for nothing. A very dear friend of mine who is also an "Angel Mommy" gave me some very good advice. She told me that if she didn't recognize her baby who had passed away then "it was all for naught." I have never forgotten that and I never will. People are often times very uncomfortable talking about Bailey to us. I understand why and I do my best to make sure that they know that it is ok and that they don't have to be nervous about it. But, still, there are days when I don't want to make them feel better. I want them to make me feel better. Again .. something I need to get through but something that it helps to be able to "blog" about.

These are the main reasons that I feel like I want to continue to blog. I would love to have you continue to follow Baileys Journey with us. Of course I had planned to continue her blog to update everyone on her progress as she grew bigger and stronger. That wasn't meant to be. However, as many of you know, our beautiful little girl - Bailey Grace Blake - touched the lives of hundreds and hundreds of people even before she was born. She was loved more than any newborn that I know. Good things came from her experiences - to our family and friends. We have seen the proof! I want to continue the good that she has already spread and I will do this by helping others with sharing our thoughts as we grieve and grow from her passing.

We love you all! Thanks for everything you have done - and continue to do - for us!

2 comments:

Jen said...

I am glad you continue to blog. Bailey's story is part of your life, and it is important for you to share it, as part of the healing process. I am sure this will take time, and your friends and family will be there for you. Best wishes!

him, her, or the other one said...

I am glad that you are going to keep blogging. With my cousin and what she has been through I think people need to realize that it just doesn't end for you at a certain point in time. You are still dealing with this every minute of every day and that it is good to share your feelings. And I think it is a powerful perspective that you can share with others who don't understand what you are going for, and an amazing testimony and display of faith that gives you the ability to teach so many...so keep blogging!