Chris and I have come to call it "ruining their day". It is when people ask you "How is the baby?" and you have to respond by saying "Actually, she passed away when she was 2 days old." It just seems to ruin their day. It is uncomfortable - they don't know what to say and I do my best at trying to make them not feel bad for asking but no matter what .. there is that tension in the air.
Today I had to go for an ultrasound on my leg to check for blood clots again. The radiologist asked me why I had been on Lovenox shots for the last several months and I told her it was because I had been pregnant. She then proceeded to ask me what I had and I told her a little girl and then it came ...
Radiologist: "How are you feeling since she was born?"
Radiologist: "And how is the baby doing?"
(Silence while I decide how to respond.)
Me: "Actually she passed away when she was 2 days old."
I HATE these conversations. Not because they make me sad but because I am still struggling to figure out the best way to handle them. Should I just avoid them by saying "Fine" and moving on. I just have a hard time with that because she isn't "Fine". However, sometimes I am just not up to explaining over and over what happened to my precious Bailey.
Hopefully I will figure out the best answer someday. For now, I will just continue to "ruin peoples days".
3 years ago