"Butterfly Fly Away"

"BUTTERFLY FLY AWAY"
Songwriters: Glen Ballard and Alan Silvestri
Sung by Miley Cyrus and Billy Ray Cyrus

You tucked me in, turned out the light
Kept me safe and sound at night
Little girls depend on things like that

Brushed my teeth and combed my hair
Had to drive me everywhere
You were always there when I looked back

You had to do it all alone
Make a living, make a home
Must have been as hard as it could be

And when I couldn't sleep at night
Scared things wouldn't turn out right
You would hold my hand and sing to me

Caterpillar in the tree
How you wonder who you'll be
Can't go far but you can always dream

Wish you may and wish you might
Don't you worry, hold on tight
I promise you there will come a day
Butterfly fly away

Butterfly fly away, butterfly fly away
Flap your wings now you can't stay
Take those dreams and make them all come true

Butterfly fly away, butterfly fly away
We've been waiting for this dy
All along and knowing just what to do
Butterfly, butterfly, butterfly, butterfly fly away

Butterfly fly away
Butterfly fly away

I love you my sweet little girl. Although you weren't here long enough for us to see exactly who you'd be we know we will still have a chance to see you make your dreams come true. We just had to let you spread your wings and fly away for now .. until we meet again. I love you!

Happy Easter!

As Easter came, I was so very sad. I was sad about what I was missing - buying you a pretty little Easter dress and doing your hair cute with little bows. As your brothers painted Easter eggs (and, yes, of course they remembered to make a few with your name on them) I thought about how you would be old enough to make a mess with them this year. As they searched for the eggs hidden by that tricky Easter Bunny, again, I thought of you. Whether you would be using a walker or braces to walk or sitting in your wheelchair, your Brothers would have made sure you had fun with them looking everywhere to find those painted eggs. I was sad that you were missing out being with us - having fun with your very special Brothers. But then I realized, you are even luckier - you were spending the day with Jesus, another very special Brother. And it is because of him that we will be able to be with you again some day - and enjoy all of the special moments that we feel we have "missed" here on Earth. Isn't that what Easter is all about?
I love you and am missing you so very much, my little Bai.
Hugs and Kisses from Mommy, Daddy, and your Brothers! Happy Easter!

Temporary Home

Happy Birthday, baby girl!
No, it isn't some specific milestone but today is the 2nd of the Month which means you would have been 17 months old - almost 1 1/2 years old. I can't believe how time flies! I think of you always but especially on your birthday. I wonder what milestones we would be celebrating. But I know that one day we will be together to celebrate everything together. This song reminds me of you every time I hear it. Only part of it really pertains to you but I just have to keep remembering that this Earth was just your "Temporary Home" and one day Me, your Daddy, and your Brothers will all be together with you again - in our Heavenly Home.
Love you, sweet Bailey!

TEMPORARY HOME
(sung by Carrie Underwood)

Little boy, 6 years old
A little too used to bein' alone
Another new mom and dad, another school
Another house that'll never be home
When people ask him how he likes this place
He looks up and says with a smile upon his face
"This is my temporary home
It's not where I belong
Windows and rooms that I'm passin' through
This is just a stop, on the way to where I'm going
I'm not afraid because I know this is my Temporary Home."

Young mom on her own
She needs a little help, got nowhere to go
She's lookin' for a job, lookin' for a way out
Because a half-way house will never be a home
At night she whispers to her baby girl
Someday we'll find a place here in this world
"This is our temporary home
It's not where we belong
Windows and rooms that we're passin' through
This is just a stop, on the way to where we're going
I'm not afraid because I know this is our Temporary Home."

Old man, hospital bed
The room is filled with people he loves
And he whispers don't cry for me I'll see you all someday
He looks up and says "I can see God's face."
"This is my temporary home
It's not where I belong
Windows and rooms that I'm passin' through
This was just a stop, on the way to where I'm going
I'm not afraid because I know this was my Temporary Home."

This is our Temporary Home.

It's just "stuff"

I have to say that this is one post that it is probably good I waited a day or so before posting.
As many of you know, it has always been important to me that something .. anything .. is on Bailey's grave at all times. I don't like to think of it bare. I used to go AT LEAST once a week .. then cut it down to weekly .. and then every other week. However, since Christmas, I have had a very hard time going at all. It has been a rough few months for me "Bailey-wise" and I just haven't felt like I wanted to deal with it. Well, I finally decided it was time for me to go and take her Christmas wreath down, check on her, and leave her a little Valentine.
I stopped by the other day and upon pulling up was not suprised that the wreath and its hanger were missing. I figured it was my own fault for waiting so long and that they had probably just cleared the grave. However, as I walked up and stood there looking at her headstone I realized that there were more things missing. Her little snowman family that I left all winter last year and then took home for summer and returned again this winter was gone. Her basket with the bunny that my Sister had taken for her (again, been there since last Easter) was gone. I was so upset. Again, I thought that maybe they had just cleared the grave. Yet they had left the other pot that my Sister had made? I doubt that. Then the warning came back to me from when we were picking her headstone. We were warned not to pick the "copper" or more expensive built-in vases because people steal them and turn them in at the recylcing place for money. I had heard stories of people stealing flowers but really didn't think it would happen. However, I believe that is what happened this time. I believe that someone took the few little things I had left there for my Bailey. I was angry. Why would someone do that? What is the point? Did they need it for their loved ones grave? Honestly, I hope so. That would make me feel much better than to think that they were just thrown away.
Like I said .. I was very angry so it is probably good that it , took me a day or two to write this post. Why? Because I have had time to realize that ... "it's just stuff". Yes, to me it represents my love for my sweet daughter. Having something there at all times makes me feel that she is loved, that someone remembers her, that she is not forgotten. But does the "stuff" really make that love more real? No, I am sure that she knows how very loved she is no matter what. She was loved by so many people even before her birth. She touched peoples lives in ways that are unimaginable for a baby who lived just under 3 days - people that never even met her - people that never even met us. Her story has touched many. She will not be forgotten.
I love you sweet, Bailey.
(P.S. I still don't want you to take her "stuff"! HA HA - OK, I'm still a protective Mommy.)

Christmas

Hello my sweet little girl -
I went to visit you last week and take you your Christmas gift. It seems so unfair that I am running around everywhere spending money and finding the perfect toys, games, books, clothes, etc for your brothers and all I can give you is a Christmas wreath. Not only a Christmas wreath, but I have to make sure it is one that will live in the freezing cold, snow, and wind - outside. I should be buying you pretty little dresses, bows for your hair, baby dolls, and puzzles. I should be making sure you are warm and happy. I miss you my baby Bailey. I hope you know how very much I love you and that, although I don't get to spoil you now, you have all the love in my heart. Hopefully that is the best Christmas gift of all.
I love you, Bai!
Mommy

Angel Friends

I have been so blessed to meet some amazing women in my life. Some through their service and friendship to me as we have ventured through "Bailey's Journey", others who have experienced their own journeys and loss of their loved little ones. Through this I have realized how very lucky I am to know that my sweet little girl is in the company of some AMAZING "Angel Friends". I saw this story and thought of that .. I know she is loved - here on Earth and in her new home in Heaven.

* Best Angel Friends * - Author Unknown
A beautiful little angel showed up to Heaven's gates.
Confused and unknowing the plan that for him awaits.
Then another little angel walked up and took his hand and said, "Please don't be sad you left, you're in the Promised Land."
"I'm glad to be here but I do not think I was to go. Perhaps there was a mistake, for my mommy wanted me so."
The little greeting angel gave a sweet smile and said, "My mommy wanted me too, but to Heaven I was led. You see, we do not get to choose when on Earth it's time to go. He gave us life, love and joy and a mother's womb to grow. The Lord still needs new angels to guide them down on earth. To watch over, comfort them, and help them see their worth."
"Is there still a way that I can sleep in my mommy's bed?"
The greeting angel grinned and said, "That luxury you'll keep. I visit my mommy nightly and softly sing her to sleep."
The little angel replied, "Then I think I'll like it here. I'll visit my mommy nightly and weaken her pain and fears. I love her and will keep her safe at night and in between; and let her know with a sweet memory that she is still with me."
The greeting angel gave her new friend a big hug and said, "Until our mommy's meet us here, let's be best angel friends."
"Okay," said the new angel, "that sounds good to me."
Then the angels sat and played keeping their mommy's in sight, humming the tunes to the song they would sing to their mommy's tonight...

8 Months.

Happy Birthday my sweet little Princess.

It has been 8 months today since you passed away. As always, I have been wondering what you would be doing now. It is so hard for me to remember when certain milestones are.
I have been thinking about you all week .. thinking about how you would have already been 8 months old on Tuesday .. how time flies!
Tonight, as I had been thinking about you all day, I saw a little girl at the table next to us in the restaurant while I was at dinner with my co-workers. I asked how old she was and, of course ... 8 months. She was so cute. The Mom proceeded to tell me how her latest "trick" was the "Uh Oh Game". She would throw her binky on the floor and then look from Mom to Dad to whoever was around and say "Uh Oh" "Uh Oh" until someone would pick it up for her. She did this numerous times .. it was so cute.
Her Mommy gave her a plate of broken up bites of breadstick to munch on and she LOVED it as she gummed them to death.
Now I know what you would be doing .. you would be enjoying munching on "baby bites" of food and learning new words and sounds.


I miss you my sweet little Princess. Have fun with all of your Angel Friends and know that Mommy never never forgets you.
I love you my beautiful baby!