The phone call

On May 21st, 2008 I got the phone call. I was working and saw my Dr on caller ID but I was on a conference call on the other phone and figured they would leave a message and I could call back. I figured they were just calling to give me the results from my routine blood tests so it was no big deal. However, when they then called my work phone and my cell phone, as well, I got a little worried. As soon as I finished up with my conference call I listened to the voicemail which simply said to please call as soon as possible. I had been having problems with blood clots and with extremely low iron so, again, I just assumed it was regarding one of these things. I called the office back and was put right through to my Drs assistant. She got right to the point and simply said "We just barely got the results from your ultrasound and there is a problem with the baby." Devastated .. that is the only word I can think of to explain the first feelings I had. She then proceeded to tell me that the long bones (arms and legs) in our baby were approximately 3 - 4 weeks behind in development from everything else. She said that she couldn't say exactly what it was but that, to her, it looked like some sort of dwarfism. She also indicated that, normally, my Dr would call himself but that he was out of town until the following week and she didn't feel like she should wait once she saw the results come across. Because of this, she had gone ahead and scheduled an appointment for me with the perinatal specialists at the Hospital so that she could get me in at the earliest time. Unfortunately, the earliest time was not for another week. A long week of waiting for us to find out what was really wrong with our baby. Again - devastated. And now ... scared. I have always been so proud of how accepting I am - how people are people - it doesn't matter what they look like. However, this was my baby we were talking about and I will not deny - I was upset. I didn't want her to be different. I wanted her to be perfect. I didn't want her to have to go through the challenges of life where people are unaccepting and mean. I didn't want her to have any type of struggles. I was sad .. I was scared .. I was worried. But we would have to wait - until next week.